Definitely a “spit” type of gal!

Poor lonely sausages...

I don’t think I would ever hear about a story such as THIS ONE. Poor guy… his wife is allergic to his sperm. And for a guy, that would be a total nightmare. No unprotected sex…no going “porn star” on his wife…no “road head”…you know, the great things about being a guy! Do you think this would qualify as a legitimate reason for a concubine? Do you think wifey will go for that? Anyone wanna start a betting line on how long that marriage will last?

uploadedGOLD: Porn or Product Advertisement?

I don’t know what to say.  I almost felt dirty after watching video below. All that aside, that has got to be the stupidest invention I have ever seen. If you are a medical/health professional and endorse this, you should have your credentials revoked. If you are a guy and purchase that thing, you will continue to be a lonely social outcast living in your mom’s basement where the only female interaction you’ll ever get is by playing “World of Warcraft.” So without further adieu I present to you…”Shake Weight!”

Remember When? Parachute Pants

Even ghosts love them!

I am gonna date myself here, but I keep thinking about trends, fads, etc. from the 1980s, which quite possibly, was the greatest decade ever! So, I thought it would be fun to add a new column here called “Remember When?” Some of you will “get it” while others may have to “Google it.” Either way this should be a hoot. And I thought of no better subject to start off with than parachute pants!

Bad Boobies?

There has been quite a ruckus over a recent Twitter picture that political activist Meghan McCain (daughter of Senator John McCain) posted. Now, my blog is a “politics-free zone“ and what I am asking is about sexuality, not politics. Look at the picture below. Is that truly offensive to you? Would you consider that NSFW (not safe for work)? Is it 2009 or 1959? I know, I know…I am a guy. But I really find nothing wrong with the photo. Yes “the twins” are staring at me, but really compared to the crap you can find on Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, and the Internets in general, that picture is low, low, loooooow (IMO) on the offensive scale. Looks more like a political slam than anything else. What are your thoughts peeps?

And she's smart too!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Let’s have a Cuddle Party!

The ONLY acceptable Cuddling!

A co-worker informed me of THIS yesterday and at first I thought it was a joke. Then I found their homepage and was stunned. I wanted to laugh but found myself sad. After reading about this newest ”boundary-appropriate workshop and social event”, I truly think the world is officially going to hell. Yes children, the “Cuddle Party” is taking the world by storm (whether you like it or not) and we are helpless to stop it.

uploadedGOLD: Broke Trek

 I realize this is years after the jokes wore off , BUT…this is by far the funniest parody of “Brokeback Mountain” I have ever seen. Enjoy!

*Thanks to Jeff for sending me this!

A pet bear? WTF?

"Time for a picnic lunch!"

Seriously who in the hell keeps a black bear as a pet? I mean you hear about dumbasses keeping lions, cougars, and tigers as pets too but a wild black bear? Maybe they confused their “pet” with Yogi? And what do you do with a pet bear? Get them a spiked collar and walk them around the neighborhood hoping they don’t dump in the neighbor’s yard? In any case one woman paid the ultimate price for this type of stupidity and it looks like another candidate for the “Darwin Awards.” Speaking of Darwin, he must be smiling in his grave right now.

What’s the penalty for abusing a frozen head?

It's a little stuffy in here...

It’s been reported that former Boston Red Sox legend Ted Williams’ frozen head was abused at the cryonics facility holding it. First of all, the whole frozen head thing is weird and creepy. Williams banked on the fact the world would end up more like “Demolition Man” rather than “Mad Max.” But I don’t know if it’s funny or sick that a technician in the facility “took baseball-like swings at Williams’ frozen head with a monkey wrench” as it was reported. It has yet to be determined, however, if the technician’s batting average went over .400 or not with those swings.

The WNBA on TV? Really?

Good grip on the ball you have there...

So I was flipping channels the other night and noticed a WNBA playoff game on. I was surprised to see this as I thought the league folded years ago. The are many “American” inventions that have failed such as the “Flowbee,” “spray-on hair,” “Jon & Kate Plus 8” and Lindsey Lohan to name a few. Those failures, though, had entertainment value and kept us laughing. But does anyone watch much less care about the WNBA? (cue crickets chirping) I didn’t think so.

“Stupid is as stupid does!”

"Mama always said..."

So, I have been in a writing rut of late. But my inspiration returned last night watching the local news. Some local woman (MORON) got scammed buying Taylor Swift  tickets on Craigslist. Hark. Shock. I laughed out loud. I mean she actually went on TV to prove how stupid she was in the hopes that she could help others not make the same mistake. The only problem with that is…none of us would buy cheap concert tickets off Craigslist!!!